Make a Difference

During his homily for the 7:00 a.m. Mass we attended at St. Bernard’s monastery, Father Francis reflected on the thoughts he had during a recent sidewalk Rosary for life that he and a group prayed.  He talked about how, at the time, he wondered, “What difference does this really make?  Cars are going by so fast and no one’s reading our posters.  No one in those cars can hear our prayers.  It just seems futile.”  But—after thinking further about it upon his return to the monastery, Father told us, he knew that it did indeed make a difference—that anytime we pray to our Lord, it makes a difference—and we should never forget that.

In the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision regarding marriage, a lot of us have been feeling somewhat discouraged.  Although many had suspected there was a reasonable probability of a decision like this one occurring, it was still a punch in the gut when it came to be.  There are plenty of articles, posts and interviews from clergy and other experts dissecting the decision and prognosticating the future of religious freedom in the United States.  This has left a lot of us wondering what the heck just happened, and why, after all the praying ostensibly being done prior to the SCOTUS decision, such a whacky outcome occurred.  Some may even wonder, as did Fr. Francis, what difference did it really make?

Recently Cardinal George Pell, told the participants at a conference in Ireland that we are “are entering a new phase of political struggle which can only be fought by lay people.” Some pundits blame Church leadership over the last few decades for the catechesis or lack thereof that has led to the culture we now face and the resulting struggle that it has created.  Whatever the reason, the fact is that in the here and now, we all have a job to do, clergy, religious and laity alike, and it’s going to take more than committed, orthodox bishops and priests to address the mess we presently find ourselves in.  It’s up to all of us to make a difference.

But how can an ordinary lay person make a difference, given all that we’re facing in this secularized culture—isn’t it like trying to drain the ocean with a measuring cup?  It may feel like that at times, but we need to remember that Jesus told us, “…with God all things are possible.” (Mt 19:26).  How can an ordinary lay person make a difference?  Here are some ideas we might prayerfully consider:

·       Beef up our daily prayer.  Prayer is speaking with God, developing a relationship with Him.  We don’t develop strong relationships with other created beings without dialoguing with them, and we won’t develop a strong relationship with the Creator without dialoging with Him.

·       Pray the Rosary.  As part of our prayer regimen, we ought to be including a Rosary a day.  None other than St. Padre Pio said, “The Rosary is the ‘weapon’ for these times.”  It was true then and it is true now.

·       Mass intentions.  Request that one or more Masses be said for our special intentions for the country.

·       Get involved in parish ministries.  Many parishes have a variety of ministries in which we can play a part, ranging from supporting liturgical celebrations, to men’s and to women’s ministries, and to pro-life and evangelization ministries, to name a few.   

·       Contact our bishops.  We may want to ask them to support a nationwide day of prayer or Rosary for our nation—it worked at the battle of LePanto, didn’t it?  The current head of the USCCB, Abp. Joseph E. Kurtz, D.D. can be reached at chancery@archlou.org

·       Contact our senators and representatives.  We should encourage them to sponsor and pass legislation that protects religious liberty.

·       Evangelize by our actions.  We can show others charity in our interactions with them and let them see God’s merciful love in our interactions with them and with other people.

·       Don’t be afraid to speak the truth.  At the very least, we all need to pray for the fortitude to speak up when positions are raised by others that run counter to our Catholic Christian beliefs.  It may be uncomfortable, but who would we rather offend—our Creator in eternity, by not speaking out, or other created beings in this short life here on earth?

As Christians, we face an increasingly likely future of religious persecution, given the legislative and judicial temperament of the country.  Consider as just one example the bakers fined $135,000 recently.  Yet it seems that many Catholics and other Christians are oblivious to this possibility.  Either that, or they believe it’s something that someone else will address—no need for them personally to get involved.  But there is a very real need for each and every one of us to get involved, and there is no time like the present to begin doing so. 

And something else to remember is that despair and discouragement don’t come from God—they’re from the evil one.  He wants us to think that it doesn’t matter what we do, that all hope is lost and that the secular, relativist, atheistic agenda is winning.  That’s why we must heed St. Paul’s advice: “Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit, do not despise prophesying, but test everything; hold fast what is good, abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-22). 

What kind of legacy do we want to leave our children and grandchildren?  We CAN and must make a difference. 

  

Prescription for Stress Reduction

Recently, I attended a webinar in which the presenter discussed the effects of stress in our lives, citing various statistics about heart muscle regeneration, chemicals our body releases, neurotransmitters, etc.   As it happens, I’d been reading a book recommended during a homily by Fr. Miguel on EWTN recently, Be Healed, written by Dr. Bob Schuchts from the John Paul II Healing Center.  In it Schuchts tells us that many experts believe 90% to 95% of all physical illnesses are caused by stress.   In fact, he cites resources that link unresolved anger and bitterness to an increased probability of many forms of cancer, arthritis, digestive problems, and heart and immune system issues, just to name a few.   The general message here (stress is bad for us) probably isn’t news to anyone, but the approach suggested by the webinar presenter for dealing with stress is something that you may find interesting—I know I did.

Based on psychological and physiological research, the webinar presenter suggested in a nutshell that we would all benefit by cultivating a stronger awareness of the positive elements of our lives and taking occasional breaks throughout the day to recharge mentally.  More specifically, her formula for success includes:

1. Start the day quietly reflecting on what you are thankful for (10 to 20 minutes)
2. Take a break—disengage and unplug—mid-morning to quietly meditate for a couple of minutes
3. At noon, do the same—disengage and unplug—for about five minutes
4. Midafternoon—same drill as in the morning—disengage and unplug—to quietly meditate for a couple of minutes
5. End the day with a reflection on all that you have to be thankful for

Does this process of starting and ending the day in thanksgiving, together with some pauses to reflect during the day, look suspiciously familiar to you?  It’s not unlike the Divine Office, which has been prayed in one form or another in the Catholic Church since about the 12^th century by the clergy and religious, as well as some laity, who stop throughout the day to recite the prayers.  Now admittedly, it might be difficult for many of us in the laity to be able to take the time required during our work days to pray the entire Liturgy of the Hours, but we all can find some time at the start and end of the day, and perhaps during the day, for short periods of prayer.

For example, at a less intense level than praying the Divine Office, in Consoling the Heart of Jesus, Fr. Michael Gaitley suggests getting into a prayer routine that includes at a minimum, a morning offering prayer, which includes offering thanks to our Eternal Father for all that He’s done for us, (including His gift of our small share of suffering), pausing at the 3:00 o’clock hour for reflection on our Lord’s passion and Divine Mercy, and closing out the evening with an examen process that includes a prayer of thanksgiving as well. 

Consider also the current advice from many Christians, including Catholic Christians, to develop an “attitude of gratitude” if one wants to improve their life.  In fact, besides recommending that we take some time out each day to read the Gospel, inserting ourselves into the scenes as we meditate on them, St. Josemaría Escrivá continually exhorts us through his writings to be grateful to God for all things.   

More recently, in an interview posted at EWTN, therapist Eric Gudan states that,

 “Gratitude is a positive moral affect. In other words, it is a pleasant feeling arising from the good action another has done to you, from judging that it has been good for you…A growing number of studies have linked gratitude with higher general feelings of happiness and have found that more grateful persons are more satisfied with life. This includes people who may not necessarily feel grateful, but attempt to arrive at the virtue by mental exercises such as thinking about the gifts that they received…

…one way of confronting depression is seeing the power that negative attitudes have upon our experience of the world and our relationships, affecting our behaviors and ultimately even our brain chemistry…Depressed persons generally have a negative attitude…This negative attitude becomes a filter that focuses and amplifies all the bad things that happen...Gratitude, on the other hand, is the uplifting feeling resulting from the recognition that another person has done something good for us. Instead of a negative self-focus, gratitude has a positive other-focus.

We have been created to love and be loved. There is a way to consider every person you come into contact with as a gift, an opportunity to love in order to become the person you were made to be.  In addition, any love that you have experienced through another person is a gift. Thus, with this attitude, there is always something to be grateful for.”

So, the bottom line in all of this would seem to be that developing a healthy prayer life, asking for the grace daily to maintain an attitude of thanks and praise, and consciously being thankful to God for all things will lead to a better life—and it really does work!

As a sidebar to this post, at the end of the webinar referred to above, the host asked me specifically if I had any questions.  I told him, “No—no questions really, but rather a comment:  It occurs to me that what you’re suggesting in a secular context is something that we believers have been doing through daily prayer for a very long time.”  At this, there was some commotion and background noise, throat clearing, etc., followed by a short pause, ending with the host’s non sequitur, “Well…I go for walks,” together with silence from the presenter… J

Resources:

Blog post re: the Divine Office from Ian at Aquinas and More store, Ft. Collins, CO

http://www.aquinasandmore.com/catholic-articles/breviary-divine-office-or-liturgy-of-the-hours/article/73/sort/relevance/productsperpage/12/layout/grid/currentpage/1/keywords/liturgy%20of%20the%20hours%20or%20breviary

More in-depth discussion of Divine Office from EWTN

https://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/breviary.htm

Laudate App for iPhones/iPads – access to Divine Office

https://itunes.apple.com/hk/app/laudate/id499428207?mt=8

Magnificat website – morning and evening readings and daily Mass readings

https://www.magnificat.net/english/index.asp

Article from ETWN about gratitude’s salutary effects on depression

http://www.ewtn.com/library/HUMANITY/zgratitude.HTM

But Do Speak to One Another

My last post, “Quiet, Please,” struck a nerve among some readers.  Responses to me privately ranged from “Thanks,” to “I’ve been thinking the same thing,” to “Really? How do we engage people so they stay in the parish if we don’t talk to them?” and many others falling at various points somewhere along this continuum. For that reason, we might want to take a look at the other side of the coin, so to speak.  But first, for anyone who didn’t see the last post, the point was that if we truly understood, respect and revere the Real Presence of our Lord and Savior in the tabernacle, we wouldn’t be socializing with friends and family in the sacred space.  Socializing would be done outside the sanctuary and nave, in the gathering space or elsewhere on the church campus.

Now saying all that does not mean that we should be glum-bums and sourpusses in our personal interaction with our neighbors either.  The peace and joy of being followers of Christ, of having personal relationships with him, should be evident to others when we interact with them.  As St. Paul tells us, “For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Rom 14:17)  We need to show that peace and joy in the Holy Spirit in the way we act toward one another as we welcome them and greet them. 

“Oh yeah,” you might say—“that’s what the hospitality ministers are for.”  True, that’s part of their ministry, but it’s something we all ought to be doing to create a stronger sense of community in the Risen Christ.  Shaun McAfee, a convert to Catholicism, tells us:

“New parishioners and [visitors]…want to be acknowledged…want interaction…want to find a place to return to each week.  More importantly, they need to be inspired by the lay members of the parish to do something in the Church and be happy doing it as well.  This is contagious…The first few times I attended Mass, nobody gave me a single look or gesture or greeting until the sign of peace…” Filling Our Father’s House, Sophia Press, 2014, p. 84

What are some tangible behaviors that might illustrate McAfee’s point?  Well, at a minimum, such behaviors might involve not trying to avoid someone, but making an effort to actually greet someone. But more than that, we ought to be greeting people around us with a warm smile, a handshake, a “Good morning,” quietly spoken to let them know they are welcome and that it’s good to have them here with us. 

In other words, what are we doing to let them know that they matter and are important members of the body of Christ and our parish?  Do we run the After-Mass-Dash as soon as we leave the sanctuary, or do we take a few minutes to chat with people either in the gathering space or over coffee and donuts?  Do we search out new faces and introduce ourselves to them, striking up a brief conversation, and if we find that they are new to the parish, welcoming them and pointing them in the right direction for registering as members?  Grace McKinnon, Catholic author and speaker, relates an incident that occurred in a shopping center parking lot where she met a young lady she’d seen in church the previous Sunday.  Ms. McKinnon introduced herself and told the young woman that she hoped she’d see her at the parish bible study program.  They chatted briefly—later the young woman approached her at the parish and told Grace that, on the very day Grace greeted her and invited her to get involved, she had been contemplating suicide.  Now, years later, she is a member of a religious order.

Of course, that’s a pretty unusual situation—or is it?  Do we take the opportunity to acknowledge the folks we see around the church when we run into them out in public?  Are we open to letting the Holy Spirit use us as instruments of His will, to bring others to Him?  How is the Holy Spirit calling each one of us to assist in the work of the Kingdom of God?  Are we paying attention to His call?  Or are we self-absorbed, focusing inward instead of outward toward our brothers and sisters?

So, no, in my opinion—we shouldn’t be using the sacred space of the sanctuary where the Real Presence dwells as a social club, but yes—we should be acknowledging and getting to know one another better, encouraging participation in the parish and building a stronger sense of community.  Too paraphrase a line from Ecclesiastes 3:1, there’s a time and a place for everything.   Carrying on chit chat in the sanctuary is not okay; quiet, brief acknowledgements and greetings without interrupting others’ private prayers is simply good etiquette that sits at the threshold of lay evangelization.  Evangelization requires us to step out of ourselves, once we’ve stepped out of the sanctuary and get better acquainted with one another.

Quiet, Please

This piece has been a while in the making—Maggie and I have noticed and talked about what we, at least, perceive to be an increasing lack of respect being shown in church before Mass.  Just today a friend of mine described his displeasure with the pre-Mass hubbub recently when he was trying to engage in some quiet prayer to prepare for the liturgy.  The antics he described going on around him before Mass unfortunately are not the exception in some parishes, but have become the rule—guys catching up on sports events, ladies catching up on family events, you name it—a wide variety of kibitzing, with even louder discussions echoing into the sanctuary and nave from the narthex or gathering space outside.

As Catholics, we speak often of “The Church,” as well as of “the church,” where the Big “C” Church is the mystical Body of Christ, founded by Christ—those of us on earth, the souls in purgatory and those in heaven.  The small “c” church, the edifice, is the facility in which we pray and worship—the house of worship.  In our Catholic churches, we have located near or within the sanctuary¹—the area including the altar and places for the clergy—a tabernacle which houses the Real Presence of Jesus Christ—the Holy Eucharist—His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity.  Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who came down from heaven to suffer the most horrific torture and ignominious death so that He might redeem us sinners; God, the utmost Perfection, Love and Infinite Good, is there with us, physically.  Those aren’t just wafers in the tabernacle—it’s Jesus, the Messiah, for crying out loud.  (For more information, take a look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1373 – 1381.)

Now, how would most of us likely behave in front of some high profile dignitary, such as His Holiness, Pope Francis, or some secular leader?  If they invited us in for an audience, would we be idly chatting with the people next to us about how the kids’ soccer season is going, where we got our hair done, or what’s for dinner?  For most of us the answer would be a resounding “No!”  It’s not polite, and it doesn’t accord them the dignity and respect owed to them.  In a word, it’s boorish, at best, if not just plain insulting.  So why does it often feel like we’re seated at Sports Authority Stadium when we arrive early for some Masses?   

Perhaps it’s because we’ve forgotten about the actual, Real Presence of Christ being in our midst.  Or maybe it’s due to the joy we feel at seeing a friend or family member and relishing the opportunity to catch up with them socially.  There probably are any number of reasons we might cite collectively for this kind of behavior, but they’re just excuses—excuses for not maintaining dignified, respectful attitudes and behaviors.  Some folks get it, though.  At St. Mary’s Cathedral in Nebraska, the faithful quietly kneel or sit and pray before Mass—no socializing—and after Mass, 99% of them return to their knees for silent prayers of Thanksgiving after the recession out.  In another parish within our own diocese, the lights prior to Mass are dimmed and only brought up to full strength upon the procession in.  At Our Lady of Guadalupe in Colorado Springs, and Our Lady of Mt Carmel in Littleton (Latin Mass), the Holy Rosary is recited before Mass.  In all of these examples, there is an air of reverence and one feels the presence of God in the church with a small “c.” 

It is not the introverted accountant in me suggesting this.  Mass takes up only about an hour a week—we can catch up with friends and family at the after-Mass social gathering for coffee and donuts—let’s let one another have some quiet time before Mass to prepare to receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord and Savior, showing respect to Jesus and to our neighbors. 

1 - Sanctuary, a holy place where God is present. In the wilderness, this was the tent of meeting or the tabernacle; in the time of Solomon, it was the temple at Jerusalem. There were, however, degrees of holiness in the temple. A few steps up from the court was the holy place, which was separated from the court by a hanging curtain. Only priests were allowed in the holy place. A few more steps and a curtain separated the holy place from the Holy of Holies, where only the high priest was allowed. Sometimes the entire temple is called the sanctuary; at other times “sanctuary” means only the Holy of Holies Buchanan, G. W. (2011). In M. A. Powell (Ed.), The HarperCollins Bible Dictionary (Revised and Updated) (Third Edition., p. 919). New York: HarperCollins.

Mixing Politics and Religion

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you’ve probably seen at least some coverage of the Supreme Court and the question of same-gender unions, as well as a presidential candidate’s remarks about the need for people of faith to change the way they think regarding things like “women’s health” (code for abortion). 

On the other hand, you may not have seen much, if any, coverage of what could happen to religious liberty in the USA if the Supremes decide to redefine marriage.  This lack of coverage is not unexpected, in my opinion, inasmuch as the mainstream media generally is not interested in the truth.  The long and the short of it is that Christians of all types could face discrimination charges in the future, and we could even see faith-based organizations (e.g. parochial schools, among others) that might lose their tax exempt status.  Why is this such a big deal?   Don’t most of them run at or near a loss at the bottom line anyway, so there’s no income on which to pay taxes, right?  Even if they do operate at or near breakeven, there’s more at play here than income taxes—property taxes and loss of exemption from sales taxes could be huge, so this is a big deal. 

As has often been the case over the last couple of thousand years, the Catholic Church and Christianity in general stand in the way of secular agendas and those in various governments pushing these agendas.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  But they don’t have to stay the same.  We each have a moral responsibility to get involved at some level in politics.  We don’t have the right to just opt out, “turn on, tune in and drop out” as the old saying goes.  Alexis de Tocqueville is credited with saying that, “Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.”  People of faith need to stand up for faith and morality.   We need to all be more involved in pursuing what’s right according to our faith.  Pope Francis has said something to that effect:

Words of Pope Francis from a 2013 Homily

“He … had words for those indifferent to politics or who simply blame political leaders for all our problems, ‘None of us can say, 'I have nothing to do with this, they govern.  No, no, I am responsible for their governance, and I have to do the best so that they govern well, and I have to do my best by participating in politics according to my ability. Politics, according to the Social Doctrine of the Church, is one of the highest forms of charity, because it serves the common good. I cannot wash my hands, eh? We all have to give something!’

Finally, he used the expression …: ‘A good Catholic doesn't meddle in politics.' That's not true. That is not a good path. A good Catholic meddles in politics, offering the best of himself - so that those who govern can govern.

            Source: post by Dcn. K. Fournier- http://www.catholic.org/news/politics/story.php?id=52405

Over the years, I’ve had people ask to be unsubscribed from my e-mailings.  That’s also not unexpected—not everyone will agree with them or find value in them.  But what is interesting is when someone asks to be removed because they don’t believe in “mixing politics and religion.”  Isn’t the reason that we have the problems we do right now because of that kind of thinking?  “I don’t want to let my religious beliefs get in the way of my politics, so I’ll just vote without regard to moral issues.”   So, as Father Mitch Pacwa often asks, “How’s that workin’ out for ya?”

It’s really pretty simple.  If we, as believers, do not get involved in politics, the people in politics will keep trying to get involved in our religion—I don’t know about you, but I am not inclined to have politicians tell me what I ought to believe…

I’d encourage you to check out the links below for some good reads on these issues:

http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/how-the-government-may-put-christian-schools-out-of-business-a-catholic-blo/

http://www.thecatholicthing.org/2015/04/27/hillary-and-christian-dhimmis/

http://www.catholicstand.com/translating-hillary-clintons-doublespeak/

And, let’s all pray for the grace necessary to stand up for our faith in the public square. 

Prairie Dogs and Babies

In Castle Rock, CO a citizens’ movement arose recently to protect a resident colony of prairie dogs from encroachment by a new real estate development.  Much fuss was made over the plight of these creatures, and they ended up being moved further out into the country as a result. It is a known fact that prairie dogs are hosts for fleas, which makes them susceptible to bubonic plague, which if contracted by humans can be a real problem (think “Black Death”).¹   In any event we have witnessed the generous, compassionate side of a group of local residents in their efforts to protect and relocate these animals. 

Now please don’t misunderstand me—I don’t dislike animals.  I do like animals—I like them grilled, stewed, smoked and baked (not talking about prairie dogs here, obviously).  My point is that it is sad to see so much time, effort and resources devoted to moving a species of ground squirrels that are known pests and disease carriers, while at the same time, millions of people apparently find it acceptable to not provide that much consideration to the unborn humans among us. 

Think about it—some individuals vehemently argue for the right to choose whether a baby (at least in the womb for now) is killed or not, while the ASPCA receives over $150 million a year² to take care of animals and find them homes for adoption, etc.  In Colorado, you can do hard time and pay large fines for animal cruelty³, but there is no law to protect an unborn baby from being murdered like baby Aurora when she was cut out of her mother’s womb recently.  Have we as a society gone totally mad?

Some facts to prayerfully consider, courtesy of the Vitae Foundation:

58 million       Number of abortions since 1973

3,000               Number of abortions every day

30%                 Of women will have an abortion

64%                 Of women were coerced into abortions

·                      82%                Wouldn’t have aborted if one person had encouraged them not to

Pray that the gains which the pro-life movement slowly has been  making continue and increase; pray that God have mercy on all of us.  

And support respect life efforts, such as:

40 Days for Life        https://40daysforlife.com/local-campaigns/colorado-springs/

Vitae Foundation      http://vitaefoundation.org/

   

          1.      http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/natres/06506.pdf

          2.      https://www.aspca.org/sites/default/files/upload/images/financial_statement_2011.pdf

          3.      http://coloradolinkproject.com/felony-animal-cruelty-penalties-in-colorado/

Philippians 4: 6 - Have No Anxiety

Every one of us probably will encounter at least one situation daily that will pose a threat to the peace we’ve worked, with God’s grace, to build and sustain in our hearts and our lives.  It may be a misunderstanding with our spouse or our kids.  It might be some disagreement at work, at church, or at some other organization to which we belong.  Maybe it’s the crazy driver who cut us off on the way to work.  The list is endless.

If something in your interpersonal interactions with others at work, at home, at church or in a social setting doesn’t do it, just take a look at the daily news headlines.   We live in an era characterized by secular relativism, under which religious freedom is under siege, respect for life is taking a back seat to the “right” of individuals to kill their babies, and Christians who stand up for their religious beliefs are branded as bigots.  In connection with all of this, civility and respectful discourse have gone the way of the screen door and the Ford Falcon.  The evil one is constantly stirring things up, looking for ways to put distance between us and God and between us and our neighbor.  What happens far too often is the creation of an “us versus them,” environment, complete with name calling and other destructive behaviors.

Social scientists tell us that, once we’ve devolved into an “us versus them” scenario, it’s all too easy to further exacerbate conditions and make things worse.  We may hear that someone from the other group spoke uncharitably about us.  When we’re busy drawing a line in the sand and taking sides, it’s all too easy to assume that this person, if they actually said whatever it was, really represents the position of the other group.  And that probably is not the case.  In any group, you will have outliers—it doesn’t mean that the whole bunch of them is aligned with the outlier's thinking.  But once we attribute this person’s thinking to the group, they’ve been tarred and feathered with it, and we go on to additional dysfunctional behaviors.

Let’s look at another dysfunctional behavior: attempted mind reading.  We’ll attempt to ascribe intent to the other party’s actions—“They just did this because they wanted to [fill in the blank] us.”  The problem I find in my work with people and groups in conflict is that, contrary to strong popular opinion among the conflicted, none of us actually can read minds.  To assume and infer intent or motives from someone’s actions without really sitting down, face to face and having a dialogue with them, will compound any existing dysfunction. 

But, as the guy in the knife commercial on television says, “Wait!  There’s more!”  Once we’ve set up our camp and they’ve set up their camp, it will continue to get worse.  We watch them and look for behaviors on their part that just continue to “prove” our opinion of them as low-down, good for nothing, no-good-nicks.  And of course, to keep the game even, they’ll do the same on their side.  “You see?  I told you they can’t be trusted.  This just proves my point!”   And it goes on and on, creating an inordinate amount of negative energy, drawing all sides into sinful behaviors and giving the evil one just what he wanted.         

What can we do about this???  For one thing, it doesn’t hurt to get some outside, facilitative support to help re-open the lines of communication, work through the difficult issues and get everyone back on the path toward trust and charity toward our neighbors. But that’s a topic for another discussion.  

In any event, to begin with, we need to take responsibility for our own actions. The old saw that, "It takes two to tango," has some truth to it.  Recognize that each of us probably has some culpability in most disagreements, own up to it, apologize if that's the case, and move on to positive discussions. But in addition to this, from a spiritual perspective, pay attention to St. Paul’s suggestion:

Phil 4: 4-8

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. ⁵Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand. ⁶Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

     The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible New Testament, RSV

Or, take some advice from a Spanish bishop from the 16^th century (and as we read it, can we help but think that this guy is actually a contemporary of ours, from this generation, day and age?):

“Experience shows us that peace, which sows charity, the love of God, and love of neighbor in your soul, is the road that leads straight to eternal life.

Take care to never let your heart be troubled, saddened, agitated, or involved in that which can cause it to lose its peace…That which [the Lord] wants of you is that, whenever you are troubled, you would recover your calm, your peace…in all activities without exception.

Just as a city is not built in a day, do not think that you can achieve, in a day, this peace, this interior calm, because it is within you that a home must be built for God, while you yourself become his temple.  And it is the Lord himself who must handle the construction.  Without him your work would not exist.”

     Bishop Juan de Bonilla, as quoted in Magnificat

What tangible steps can we take to grow our faith and our peace?  St. Paul and Bishop Juan de Bonilla have given us some good advice.  To boil it down might we need to PRAY?  Pray for the grace to…

·       Understand God’s will and to follow it obediently

·       Learn what He’s trying to teach us

·       Overcome our habitual sins and bad habits

·       Be more patient and understanding with everyone

·       Communicate more effectively with our brothers and sisters

·       Bring others closer to Him

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

                     Blessed Teresa of Calcutta